Hoda Kotb’s Complicated Farewell to Joel Schiffman: A Journey of Love and Letting Go

Hoda Kotb, the effervescent former co-anchor of NBC’s Today show, has long been a beacon of warmth, her infectious smile lighting up morning television for millions. Born in Norman, Oklahoma, in 1964 to Egyptian immigrant parents, Kotb’s journey from local news in New Orleans to a household name is a testament to her resilience and authenticity. A breast cancer survivor, advocate for adoption, and author of bestselling books like Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee, she’s shared her life’s highs and lows with grace. Yet, when she announced her 2022 breakup with longtime fiancé Joel Schiffman on Today with Hoda & Jenna, the news carried a weight that belied her measured words. “We decided that we’re better as friends and parents than we are as an engaged couple,” she said, ringless, her voice steady but soft. Fans sensed layers beneath the surface, and three years later, Kotb peeled back those layers, revealing a breakup far more complex than it seemed—a story of struggle, epiphany, and gratitude for the two daughters who remain her north star.

Kotb and Schiffman’s romance began in 2013, a serendipitous spark at a book-signing event where the financier’s quiet charm met Kotb’s radiant energy. Their bond deepened swiftly, leading to an engagement in 2019 after six years of shared dreams, including adopting daughters Haley in 2017 and Hope in 2019. Schiffman, a New York-based wealth manager known for his low-key demeanor, was Kotb’s rock through her high-profile career. But by 2022, cracks had formed. On Today in 2025, Kotb shared a pivotal moment from a retreat that changed her perspective. “I had kind of an epiphany about my life,” she told Savannah Guthrie. “You can love someone… but that person isn’t right for you in that moment.” The realization was wrenching: their relationship, though good, wasn’t deepening. “You want to make things work, and sometimes, things don’t,” she confessed, hinting at months of quiet efforts to salvage what they had. The decision to let go wasn’t born of scandal but of a profound need to rediscover herself.

The complexity of their split lay in that unspoken struggle. Kotb, then 57, faced the daunting prospect of untangling an eight-year partnership while co-parenting two young girls. She described sleepless nights, wrestling with questions of timing and fit, not love. “I was realizing you can say to yourself, ‘Wow, I’m ready to try to get other buckets of mine filled,’” she shared. This wasn’t about falling out of love but acknowledging that love alone couldn’t bridge the gap. Schiffman, now 67, remained a steadfast partner in parenting, but their romantic paths diverged. The retreat, a space of introspection, gave Kotb clarity to choose herself—not out of selfishness, but necessity. Fans, used to her on-air candor, were struck by this vulnerability, flooding X with messages like, “Hoda’s strength is unreal. Choosing herself took guts.”

Yet, gratitude anchors Kotb’s reflections. In a 2022 People interview, she spoke of Schiffman with reverence: “I have two incredible children I share with him. And it’s because of Joel that I have Haley and Hope, without question.” Adoption, a leap she admitted she might have been too scared to take alone, became their shared legacy. Haley, now 8, and Hope, 6, are the center of Kotb’s universe. “They ride front seat, they ride sidecar. They don’t ride in the back,” she told E! News, her voice fierce with maternal devotion. “Career doesn’t get this seat, time doesn’t get this seat. They get this seat.” Their co-parenting arrangement reflects this priority: Schiffman takes Saturdays, Kotb Sundays, a seamless rhythm that ensures their daughters thrive. “He’s a great dad,” she affirmed, describing weekends where he whisks the girls to museums or parks while she carves out quiet moments.

The absence of scandal made the breakup’s complexity all the more poignant. There were no betrayals, just two people navigating the quiet ache of a love that couldn’t evolve. Fans, moved by Kotb’s honesty, shared their own stories of tough choices on social media, with one tweeting, “Hoda’s story reminds me it’s okay to let go for the right reasons.” Her journey resonates because it’s universal—love can be real yet not enough, and letting go can birth new beginnings. As Kotb steps back from Today to focus on family and new ventures, her daughters remain her guiding light, a gift from a relationship that didn’t last but forever changed her. In choosing herself, Kotb found not just peace but a deeper love—for Haley, Hope, and the woman she’s becoming.