In a heartfelt revelation from her newly released book, Hope Is a Rainbow: Inspiration for a Bright Tomorrow, broadcaster Hoda Kotb opens up about the end of her eight-year relationship with former fiancé Joel Schiffman. The 61-year-old Today show co-anchor, known for her candid and uplifting storytelling, shares how the couple navigated their breakup with grace, prioritizing their two adopted daughters, Haley Joy and Hope Catherine. At the core of this narrative is a subtle yet profound moment: the way Schiffman explained the change in their family dynamic to the girls, emphasizing continuity in their shared parenting journey despite no longer being a couple.
Kotb and Schiffman’s love story began nearly a decade ago, blossoming into an engagement in 2019. Their bond was deepened by the decision to adopt. Kotb recounts in her book how, early in their relationship, she expressed her desire to become a mother through adoption. Schiffman’s immediate support was a turning point. “I literally fell onto his chest and wept,” she writes, describing her tears as a release of relief and gratitude. It was one of the first times she uttered the word “adoption” aloud, and his unwavering enthusiasm paved the way for welcoming Haley Joy in 2017 and Hope Catherine in 2019. These moments of joy underscored their partnership, built on mutual respect and shared dreams.
However, by 2022, the couple announced their split, a decision Kotb describes as stemming from love rather than anger. “It came from a place of love, not anger, which makes a big difference,” she explains in the book. There was no infidelity, scandal, or dramatic fallout—just a gradual growing apart, unlike the tumultuous breakups often romanticized in pop culture. Kotb praises Schiffman’s character, noting, “Joel’s a great guy, a great dad, and a great friend.” Their post-relationship dynamic defies convention; they skipped the mess of marriage and divorce, jumping straight to exemplary co-parenting and friendship. “When you care about someone the way we care about each other, it’s easy,” she adds. “We want the best for one another and our girls.”
Central to this amicable transition was how they communicated the change to their young daughters. Kotb cherishes Schiffman’s thoughtful approach, which focused on the enduring aspects of their family. He framed the conversation around the idea that while their living arrangements had shifted, their commitment to parenting remained unbreakable. In a gentle, age-appropriate way, he conveyed that the family’s “journey” would continue together, even if Mom and Dad were no longer a romantic pair. This explanation, Kotb notes, helped the girls understand the split without fear or confusion, reinforcing that love evolves but doesn’t disappear. “That’s why I decided we would still share the journey of parenting, even if we’re no longer a couple,” Schiffman told them, a line Kotb highlights as a model of sensitivity and wisdom.
During a recent appearance on the Today show on September 23, Kotb sat down with co-host Savannah Guthrie to discuss the book. Reflecting on life’s big leaps, she drew parallels between leaving her role on the show and ending her relationship. “I started writing about the times that I jumped,” Kotb said. “I jumped from market to market. We both jumped into motherhood. We both jumped into relationships and out of them.” She emphasized that these experiences build resilience: “Once you realize, ‘Oh, I’m still standing at the end of this. Like, oh, I’m still good. Oh, I still have my mojo,’ that practice gets you ready for big ones.”
Kotb’s realization came after a personal retreat, where she recognized that deep love doesn’t always mean lifelong partnership. “Sometimes people get so busy in a relationship that time quickly passes, which can feel nice too,” she shared. But the retreat illuminated her need to redirect energy toward other facets of life. Despite the end of their romance, Kotb and Schiffman’s story is one of evolution, not loss. They continue to co-parent with harmony, attending family events and supporting each other’s growth.
In an era where celebrity breakups often dominate headlines with negativity, Kotb’s account offers a refreshing perspective. By sharing Schiffman’s nuanced explanation to Haley and Hope—focusing on shared adventures ahead rather than what’s lost—she inspires readers to approach life’s changes with empathy and optimism. As Kotb looks back on her transitions, she reminds us that jumping into the unknown, whether in love or career, can lead to brighter tomorrows. Her book, released just a day ago, serves as a beacon for those navigating their own leaps of faith.
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