Late-night hosts unleashed on Senate Democrats for caving on the longest-ever government shutdown with no assurance on healthcare subsidies from Republicans.
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart minced no words for congressional Democrats on Monday evening, hours after a coalition broke from the party and voted with Republicans to extend government funding through January with no assurances on the healthcare tax credits at the center of the 41-day stalemate. “By the way, tonight’s show will be brought to you by: I can’t fucking believe it,” Stewart fumed at the top of The Daily Show. “I can’t fucking believe it: for when the ‘I can’t believe it’ Edvard Munch scream emoji doesn’t quite convey how much you cannot fucking believe it.”
“They fucking caved on the shutdown, not even a full week removed from the best election night results they’ve had in years,” he continued. “Seven Democratic senators and an independent voted with their Republican counterparts to end the shutdown and reopen the government.”
“You had the wind at your back, election victories all over the country, the new Sydney Sweeney movie – box office bupkis,” he added. “Apparently, her new Maga fanbase didn’t show up in droves to see a biopic about a lesbian professional boxer who overcomes domestic violence to live her truth. Who could have seen that coming? Democrats, you sold out the entire shutdown not to get what you wanted but for a promise to not get what you wanted later.”
Stewart also raged at the fact that the only assurance Democrats received on the expiring tax credit for healthcare premiums – whose end would effectively cause millions to lose their health insurance – was the promise of a vote on the issue sometime in December. “Surely, someone in the party understands that offering a vote in the Senate without a commitment that it would pass or that the House would even take it up is an empty offer,” he said.
Stewart then singled out Democratic senators Tim Kaine, of Virginia, and New Hampshire’s Jeanne Shaheen, two of the eight Democrats who once opposed such a deal with a Republicans. “Look, either all eight senators who voted to capitulate coincidentally are not up for re-election in 2026, or Chuck Schumer worked behind the scenes to give in to the Republicans while still protecting ‘vulnerable Democrats’, including himself,” he quipped.
“This is a world-class collapse by Democrats,” he said, comparing it to a spectacular loss by the New York Giants this weekend. “It would be like being up 10 points with three minutes left to go in a game and still finding a way to miraculously lose it for the fourth time in just one month.”
“This is what the Democrats have squandered,” he concluded. “They squandered their leverage, sapped their voters’ enthusiasm and snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.”
Stephen Colbert
“Our long national nightmare is … different,” joked Stephen Colbert on Monday’s Late Show, as the longest-ever government shutdown appeared to be nearing its end after eight Senate Democrats voted with Republicans to fund the government through January without any Affordable Care Act guarantees.
“So yes, yes, the shutdown may have been long and painful for millions of Americans, but at least it achieved jack squat,” said Colbert.
“No surprise, the vast majority of Democrats do not want this,” he continued. And, perhaps unsurprisingly, none of those eight are up for re-election next year. Two have already announced their retirement. “What a disappointing way to end your career,” said Colbert. “It reminds me of when Journey released their last album: We Stopped Believin’.”
Colbert referred to Sheehan, who said of her New Hampshire constituents: “They say, ‘Why can’t you all just work together to address the problems that are facing this country?’
“Because the country is being run by insane people!” Colbert responded, mocking the senator – “‘My constituents want to know why we can’t work with the meth-addled chimps who broke into the cockpit and are now flying the plane. Some of their ideas are reasonable, although admittedly some are bananas.’”
Seth Meyers
“Democrats had finally backed Trump into a corner. Polls showed that voters were on their side, and then just when it seemed like they finally turned the tables, they buckled,” Seth Meyers lamented on Late Night.
“Now, I’m sure you think caving to Republicans without any meaningful concessions constitutes giving up, but that’s because you’re not an expert on politics like Chuck Schumer is,” he joked of the Senate minority leader. “You’re playing checkers, he’s playing chess, and he’s playing it slowly. He’s not playing it to win. He’s playing until his opponent falls asleep. Which, by the way, literally just happened last week,” he added before a photo of Trump asleep on live television during an Oval Office meeting.
“Democrats, do you see this? Why are you caving to this guy?” he fumed. “In the span of like five days he got crushed in elections, got booed at a football game, fell asleep at a meeting – and you guys saw that and thought, ‘There’s no way we can beat this guy, he’s at the top of his game.’”
Meyers then played a clip of Senator Angus King, a Maine independent who voted with Republicans and justified it to MSNBC: “There never was an endgame if the strategy didn’t work. And now we have one,” he said, with a “guaranteed vote on the ACA. And it may not succeed, I grant that. But a reasonable chance – 10%, 20%, 30% – is a lot better than 0%, which is where we were as of yesterday morning.”
“You guys caved for a 10% chance of success?” Meyers marveled. “Also, I hate to break it to you, but it’s still 0%. You and I know this Republican party is not going to work with Democrats. And yet some Democrats are still capable of deluding themselves into thinking that cooperation is possible.”
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel quickly summarized how we got to this point. “Democrats refused to sign on to a bill that would force millions of Americans off their healthcare and make it much more expensive for those who can afford healthcare,” he said. “So Democrats drew a line in the sand. They said: ‘We’re not going over this.’ And today, after 41 days, they pulled out a shovel and a bucket and ate all that sand, and got nothing for it.”
“Isn’t that great?” he mocked. “You know what they got? They got a promise from Republicans in the Senate to hold a vote on healthcare sometime in the future. And if there’s one thing we know about Trump and his merry band of sycophants, it’s that their word is as good as gold.”
“It’s incredible at his age that Chuck Schumer is still able to bend over so far,” he quipped. “Chuck Schumer is basically every parent who tells their kid ‘No more iPad, that’s it!’ And next thing you know, he’s playing Roblox at the dinner table.”
“This was such a big cave by the Democrats, Bruce Wayne offered to buy it,” he joked. “Turns out all Trump had to do was threaten to starve poor people, and he got his way. I’m sure he’ll never do it again, though.”
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